Ramblings & Rants from a Wannabe 50s Housewife

Quick update

2009-04-18T13:44:00.002-05:00

Hi guys! I'm still here. Sorry for my abscence. The job hunt is over, and I have a great new job for a much bigger company. I love it so far, and really enjoy actually having coworkers again! I will try to write more soon. Thanks for still waiting around for me!!! Hope all is well with my readers. -Luck and love to ya!

Just to Say

2009-03-30T15:56:00.009-05:00

I was going to post another "Just to Say" with comments said to anonymous pains in my butt, but figured ya'll have had enough negativity from me today. Instead, I dedicate the following pictures to them. Enjoy!

Now Submitting Applications

2009-03-30T13:59:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry, guys. I know lately my posts have see-sawed from cheery to dreary. Hopefully I will find a new job soon, and be able to give some good news. In the meantime, please bear with me. Today is my official last day at my job. As if the fact of it isn't hard enough to swallow, I have had to say it out loud over 50 times today to employees and clients. I am so jittery and restless today. I keep telling myself that everything will work out, and that this is just another change in our lives that is bound to bring us better things. It's hard to keep in that mindset, though, whne you wonder where your next paycheck will be coming form, and how soon it will arrive. These are the times when I really kick myself for not finishing college. But, I should remind myself not to regret anything, because I only have my blessings of today as a result of my mistakes of yesterday. Of course, I am thankful for my wonderful friends. They have all called me today to check on my sainty. One is even baking for me. Peanut Butter Cookies!!! (Not usually my fave kind, but love her recipe). Think I will hole up tomorrow for a single day of supreme unemployment before beginning my full time job hunt. Yup, gonna get grape soda, chips, dip, ice cream, chocolate, brownies, some B-rated movies, nail polish, and whatever other fattening junk I can find. No, I'm not gonna mope. I am going to be completely lazy and worthless for an entire weekday. Maybe. Ok, possibly half the day. Yea, you're right, I will probably bolt out of bed at the crack of dawn and pack a lunch to frantically job hunt. It's the thought that counts, though, right? Wish me luck and keep my in your prayers. I'll try not to slow down too much on my posts. Have a stress-free day, guys!

Unexpected Surprise

2009-03-27T09:28:00.003-05:00

I was reading all my fave blogs this morning, how I usually start my day, and read a post that reminded me of this for some reason. Thought I'd share. Back in my single days, I worked at a gas station. One day at work, I look out toward the gas pumps to see a beautiful sight of an olive skinned, wavy haired, well chiseled Greek God looking man gassing up his Jeep. It was very nice scenery. When he came in to pay, I managed to stop drooling long enough to wish him a nice day. My coworker, Wilma, gave me hell about it the rest of the evening. The next day, he came back. He became a "regular customer," stopping by the store almost daily. My assumption was that he'd recently started working nearby or just moved to the area. I never spoke anything more than small talk with him because I viewed him as so beautiful that he was just one of those untouchable guys- no way I could get him, and if I did he would be way high maintenance. That's if he wasn't gay...very well put together, you never know. So, after a couple months, Wilma starts pestering me to ask him out. One of my days off, I got back from the store to hear a message on my answering machine to call Wilma at work asap (I was Assistant Manager and always "on call"). I called Wilma to check on the store, and was told that my eye candy would be calling me later that evening to ask me out. Wilma apparently got tired of watching me oogle him, and took initiative to make the first move for me. He did call that night, and we slipped into a very easy conversation. After talking for quite a while, he invited me to dinner on Saturday night, which Wilma had already told him was my night off, and I accepted. The date night came, and he showed up at my door with flowers (hand picked wildflowers tied with ribbon). He opened my car door for me, pulled out my chair, pulled out all the Mr. Wonderful moves. We had great food and even better conversation. I was really clicking with this man (and did I mention how beautiful he was). There were no strained conversation topics, no awkward silent moments, not even any stray comments that made me see something negative. I was floating on cloud 9. After dinner, he asked what I'd like to do. I suggested a drink somewhere quiet or even rent a movie and go to my place (I was a very trusting person- and had a protective neighbor). He went for the movie idea. We easily agreed on a movie and went to my apartment to watch it. He was a perfect gentleman, the conversation continued just as interesting and easy all night. He did ask me for a kiss at one point, which was toe-curling! He said he really needed to be getting home by the time 3 am rolled around. I walked him to the door and said good night. A couple minutes later, he knocks on my door. When I answer, he tells me what I great time he had and then says, "I know this may be a little sudden, and I don't want to scare you off, but would you think about maybe being my date to prom next month?" I was 23 at the time. I couldn't help that the first thing out of my mouth was, "Prom? Wait a minute, how old are you?" I was assuming maybe 21. He was 19. I told him I'd think about it, but I'm pretty sure I'd made up my mind on the spot. I never went out with him again. We talked on the phone a few more times, and Of course we were friendly at the store, but I guess I was being an age snob. That's pretty snobby of me. Only 4 years difference - I am that much older than my sweetie now. I think I might have been ok with it a few months later. I guess just the fact that he was still in high school was what mad him seem way too young. I don't regret anything now because if it weren't for my choices in the past, I wouldn't have the blessings I have now, but......how do you throw out amazing connection, looks, humor, chivalry, and romance for just a few years. All I know is that I went from floating on cloud 9 to plummeting to indifference. Hope he stayed a nice guy after graduation.

Happies

2009-03-26T14:30:00.004-05:00

Yesterday had several of those wonderful, unexpected, little "happies". You do know what a "happy" is, don't you? It's the very small gifts, actions, bits of info, sights, smells, tastes, etc. that just yell out "Hey, you....SMILE!" I forgot my lunch and was starving, so my sweetie cooked for me when I got home- not sandwich (which still would have been a sweet gesture), but grilled a burger, toasted bun, built it, oh yeah! I saw my first big patch off bluebonnets with indian paintbrushes yesterday. I love that sight. My daughter found buttercups near the garage, and got my nose with the pollen. I found a grape soda in the back of my fridge (grape soda is a comfort food for me). The mailman delivered a letter to me to thank me for complimenting the service from an employee at McDonalds that included cards for free McCafe (not Starbucks, but will do). Seriously, the girl deserved a compliment because not only was the service not completely shi**y as usual, but it was excellent. Cosmo made a typo and put my address on April 2009 issue. I feel bad that someone is going to miss out on their Cosmo since I don't recognize the name, but that's a bonus for me! I would be willing to return it to the rightful owner once I am done with it. My best friend called to say she's coming for another visit in 2 weeks(I talked her into baking me her famous peanut butter cookies for when she comes). The little monkey left me alone long enough to enjoy an entire episode of NCIS, uninterrupted (and she cleaned up her room sometime during that hour). I actually got to hear and see every detail of the case! The first time this year that it's rained and I didn't need even a light jacket. I love the rain; hate the cold. I even slept better last night, only 1 nightmare woke me up, but that was at 5am so counts as today. I've been hoping for a "happy," but never thought I'd get a day full of 'em. Hope you get a "happy" today!

Anyone care to donate?

2009-03-25T10:23:00.012-05:00

I know, I am asking a lot from my readers lately: well wishes, recipe ideas, comments, and now what?! I will admit that this one is huge, maybe you could all band together and pitch in because y'all love me so much that my happiness is that important to me. Oooh, it could be an anniversary present (that's right around the corner on April Fool's Day- he's my bad joke)! Ready for my request? I just read a post on a blog that I have recently started following, Kate's Random Musings, that went straight to my happy center! This weekend, Cincinnati Ballet is performing a show based on Ol' Blue Eyes called "Sinatra Suite & More". I can only imagine how awesome that would be. Ballet, at one time, was a huge part of my life. Even though I am now unable to dance, I take every opportunity to watch the beauty of dance. Pair up that grace with the sounds of that sexy crooner, Frank Sinatra (yes, he was yummy most of his life)...yup, it's a must see. Problem is, I am broke, soon to be unemployed, and stuck in Texas. So, if anyone feels like sending a plane ticket (or even train or bus) and a ticket to the ballet, I'd be happy to sleep on my mode of transportation and don't even need a place to stay. Too much? Ok, then if anyone can get a recording of the show on DVD or even VHS and send it my way, I'd be so grateful. Pretty please? Ok, I know none of you love me that much, but a girl can dream.

Brainstorming time again!

2009-03-24T11:03:00.003-05:00

C'mon guys, I need recipe suggestions again. It's almost Easter, and I have to once again rise to the occaision of having the "in-laws" leave the table oohing and aahing. I don't even have the slightest ideas of what I want to make this year. So, if you have any fabulous, unique, fairly inexpensive appetizer or desert recipes, please share. Thanks, guys!

For Alec

2009-03-23T09:17:00.002-05:00

Happy Birthday! I miss you and love you!

Handshake

2009-03-20T15:44:00.002-05:00

Ok, I got a little ADD while preparing to write for you today. Whenever I choose something to write about, I always find my accompanying pics to head up the post before writing. Today, I thought I'd just let you know that I do have a job interview on Monday morning. Of course it is only for 20 hours per week at less pay than I currently make, but at least I wouldn't be moving directly into a cardboard box after next week!!! Really, the more conversations and thinking that go on, the more positive I am that I really only need a job until June, when the family of the nanny offer gets to town. So, I was looking for pics to go along with the small announcement of my interview and asking you to send me some luck around that time, when I Googled handshake pics. That got me thinking about something that is on my mind daily, but I have never mentioned to you before. I'm sure you know by now that I interview people for jobs for my current living. I have noticed that very rarely does one of my job candidates shake my hand when I extend it for them. Out of the few that do, only 5% initiate the handshake themselves. Though it amazes me that not quite so many people bother with handshakes before/after a job interview, it amazes me even more how many people exist with the weakest handshakes. I believe that a person's handshake says a lot obout who they are as a person. Ok, I know this post sux big time, sorry- on the phone 75% of typing time. Promise to come back and edit later. Have a good weekend!

Scaredy Cat

2009-03-19T09:59:00.003-05:00

For the past 2 months I have been having nightmares every night. In fact, I have been having nightmares more frequently altogether since we moved into our current house. I find this strange since it is the most comfortable house I have lived in. Yes, I am a big scaredy cat, and on top of all my superstitions and old wives' tales beliefs, I believe in ghosts. I am actually kind of curious about them, but know if ever encountered with a true sighting or experience, I'd run and cry like a baby! All of my other houses I can ever remember living or even just sleeping in, I would not walk through a dark room. I run to turn on lights, jump over areas where something could be underneath, check behind the shower curtains, keep the closet door closed, and sleep facing the bedroom door. It may sound silly, but it helps me. Strangely, the house I live in now, I don't do any of those things, with exception of walking through dark room - but that's just so my clumsy butt doesn't land me face first to the floor. My point is that this is the last house I would expect to have my nightmares intensify and become more frequent. I have done the research on causes of nightmares in adults and don't seem to fit into any of the causes: sleep deprivation, prescription drugs, heavy use or withdrawal of drugs/alcohol, or excessive stress. Yes, I am stressed, but the level has only gone up considerably in the past few days, then subsided some. My stress has not been just off the charts for two months straight. Yes, I am saying that a single night has not gone by in the past two months without the same or a highly similar nightmare. Also, my daughter has had once monthly night terrors (big difference) for the past two years, and now those have multiplied to once a week at least over the past two months. Very strange. Very scary.

*The above picture is by a very interesting photographer, Joshua Hoffine *

And the winner is...

2009-03-19T08:59:00.003-05:00

Maybe I am over celebrating this, but I won something! This is a big deal to me because I never win contests- hello, queen of bad luck! Well, I take that back, in junior high, I called in to a radio show and won a Cure tape(yes, cassette tape, guess I'm showing my age), but my mother never took me to claim it. I almost don't want to share the details of my win with you since it will definitely decrease the amount of pride you have for my accomplishment. I am incredibly impressed with the fact that I get a prize since I submitted my blog post on Friday the 13. So, here's the deal: If you haven't noticed, one of my fave blog links listed on the right of this page is "Campaign for the Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) and Other Rants." On March 7, 2009, Suzanne at CUSS posted that she had interviewed Rachel Nalebuff for a BlogHer post concerning her 'Little Red Book' . This book is a collection of women's stories of the first time they got their period. Part of the March 7 blog, for those who don't care to click the links, states that the BlogHer post is accepting comments in the form of links to blog posts with first period stories. Three of the bloggers will randomly be chosen to receive a copy of 'Little Red Book'. The last day for submissions was Friday, the 13. I wasn't sure if some of my readers might find my story TMI, so I posted on a new blog. You can find my posting here.I know it's not a literary masterpiece, but it happened to be 1 of 2 entries. That put me in the top 3!!! Sure, I realize that my male readers are probably not the least bit entertained by this post, but actually my story is pretty funny...now that I'm older and over it. Either way, I am really looking forward to reading my prize, and am super excited to call myself a WINNER! Yay me!

Luck O' the Irish

2009-03-18T10:15:00.003-05:00

Maybe I am over-reacting and getting myself over-excited, but since my last post, St. Patty proved good mojo after all. As I am sure you know, the strongest luck comes in 3's. So, here's yesterday's news:
1. Responded to a posting for a nanny position online and got a phone call back from the mother only 5 minutes later. We talked for a good while, an easy conversation like we were already friends. We both agreed that we enjoyed the conversation and are very anxious to meet each other and their families. The position is perfect hours, great pay, good situation, stable environment, and seems to be a great match for me, but does not begin until June.
2. A buisness-owner in one of my neighboring offices was talking to me yesterday, and upon finding out that my office was scheduled to close, asked me to speak to the owner about selling to him. He says that he would keep us in buisness because the unemployment slump is going to end soon enough and he sees no reason in closing because of a slight drop in sales due to the economy. If he does that, I can keep my job (at least until June).
3. If the sale of my company doesn't work for any reason, an old friend of mine has offered me a part-time position at her company to hold me out until June.
I'm going to be just fine. I didn't think I would be saying that so positively so soon. I'd like to thank all of you for your prayers and well wishes.

Countdown to disaster

2009-03-17T12:29:00.002-05:00

Here's the bad news. What I'm sure you are aware of is that we are in an economic depression. That means production slows down for companies and they definitely are not looking to hire any new employees anytime soon. What you don't know is that the job I hold, which I love, revolves solely on staffing companies with new employees. So, if no one is hiring, then my office makes no money. I was just informed yesterday that unless a miracle happens to increase hiring within the next two weeks, my office will be closing on March 30. That dowsn't exactly bring a smile to my face or a decrease in my stress level. I don't want to lose this job. Not only is it the fact that I do love what I do, but it is part of my job to know if there are any other jobs to be had. There are none out there. If buisness were hiring, I would be OK because I would know I could work elsewhere; then again, if they were hiring, my office would not need to close. I won't stress about it today, being my favorite day of the year, but tomorrow will be a different story. I am asking all my readers (even if there are only 3 or 4 of you) to please pray for me and my family, wish me luck, and send some good vibes my way. Also, I will try to continue to keep up with this blog, but apologize if posts get few and far between since I will be focusing mainly on job hunting and trying to find odd jobs to keep the bills paid somehow.

I love LUCKY days!

2009-03-17T12:22:00.003-05:00

HAPPY SAINT PATRICK'S DAY!
Hello, readers! I have bad news, but will not include it in this post because today is the luckiest day of the year, and I plan to post just to celebrate that. I love today, not only because of my vast belief in superstition, but also because of my pride in my Irish heritage. I hope that every one of you has a wonderful, lucky day!

What can I say?

2009-03-13T10:25:00.003-05:00

It's Baaaaack!

2009-03-13T09:35:00.007-05:00

Ok, people, here we go for one more round. It's second whammy Friday the 13th today. Once again, bring out your good luck charms and cross your fingers for an uneventful day. New bit of information: Did you know that there is an actual word for the fear of Friday the 13th? Friggatriskaidekaphobia or Paraskavedekatriaphobia (two words actually.)Interesting. No, these words do not describe me. I may be extrememly superstitious, but I am not fearful of today, or the number 13 (Triskaidekaphobia), I am just cautious when it comes to countering bad luck. I hope the mojo flows in your favor today. Good Luck!!!

Breakfast of Champions

2009-03-12T10:54:00.002-05:00

Today is only Thursday the 12th, right? I just need to double check after my start of the day. Normally, when I get up, around 6:30, I get ready and then wake my daughter around 7:15 or so. She may not sleep late on weekends, but is very hard to get started on weekday mornings. This morning, I woke up to find her not in her bed. I walk into the living room to find her sitting at the coffee table, eating ice cream straight from the tub with the ice cream scoop. There is melted ice cream in a puddle on the floor where she is sitting, covering half of the coffee table, and in streaks on her hair. In the kitchen, I found a dining room chair pulled up to the fridge, which answered my question of how she reached the freezer. I should have been mad, but I was more in shock. She is staying with her grandmother today, who does not like dirty kids. She needed to be clean, hair brushed, and dressed cute. All I could do was ask her why she didn't ask first before getting the ice cream. She told me "You sleeping. You so tired." How considerate, huh?! Well, I don't know how, but in 30 minutes she was wiped down, hair brushed (though a little sticky still) and in clean cute clothes. I can't say the same for my floor and table, which got a very fast half-hearted cleanup. I was only 45 minutes late to work this morning. Of course, things didn't get any better when I got to work. So, this week seems to be filled with bad luck from every direction. I am trying hard to laugh off what I can (i.e. the ice cream breakfast), but can't help but wonder what doom tomorrow holds in store for me.

*She didn't even save any ice cream for me! :-(

Stupid Computers

2009-03-11T12:23:00.003-05:00

I have the worst luck with my home computers. I swear, if it's not one thing, it's another. I know I shouldn't expect something that runs perfectly. I don't even expect it to do major tasks, but I'd at least like one that doesn't give me constant headaches, bad moods, and insomnia. I would love a new, and I mean NEW computer, but that isn't going to happen anytime soon for lack of funds. Is is so much to ask of a computer to be able to surf around online, play a couple simple games, and store just a bit of pics and resumes? Yes, I'd love to burn CDs or even DVDs, play movies, play music, watch YouTube, or play the better graphics games, but I don't even ask that of my computer. Just have a CD ROM that works, modem that works, not freeze every 10 minutes, and not constantly send me love notes (error messages and blue screens of death). I have 3 computers at home, and currently not a single one can meet my requests. Maybe it's time to take them out to the country and reenact the fax smashing scene from "Office Space." That could improve my mood dramatically!

On another note of bad mood/disappointment: Had plans for this coming weekend to attend a bike rally, and was soooo looking forward to it. Now, weather predicts to be cold, after past 2 weeks of pretty and warm. So, instead of the plans I had to dress cute and jump on back of sweetie's motorcycle for good long ride followed by big outdoor party, I will bundle up and freeze on the ride following short miserably cold listening to bands outdoors. That just doesn't sound as tempting to me, but I have already given my word to attend.Boo Hoo- do not like cold weather.

Von Minden Hotel

2009-03-09T13:10:00.004-05:00

WOW! I was just thinking about something that happened so long ago and thought I would tell you about it. It's just child's games, but still gets me thinking sometimes. The funny thing is what I found when I Googled the hotel that is part of my story to get you a picture. Yes, I know, I should be using my own pictures, but this is easier!!! Anyway, I will first tell my story, then what I found, as it makes me wonder slightly if they are related in any form.
I lived in Schulenburg, Texas for 1st-3rd grade. Among my friends were a pair of sisters named Brittany and Tiffany. Their grandparents owned the Von Minden Hotel, Momma's Pizza, and the movie theatre (which are all located in the same block). Schulenburg is a small town (only one public school to house grades K-12) with not tons of entertainment, but we made due. On the day that my story takes place, I was having pizza with the sisters when their grandmother came to the table and asked us to come to the kitchen when we were through. We did, then she took us out the back door and showed us a loose brick on the side of the building. Upon pulling the brick out, we found a piece of paper. She said she'd just found it and was wondering if we'd put it there while playing some kind of game. We didn't know what it was, but our curiosity was sparked. I wish I could remember exactly what it said, but that was over 20 years ago. I do remember that it read like a riddle, a clue. We figured it out and found another note inside the dining room of Momma's Pizza. The second note led us to a loose floorboard in the Von Minden Hotel, then one to the player piano in the hotel lobby, and there may have been a few others. We did find a note in the piano, but none after that. It was not for our lack of searching. Again, I can't remember exactly what we read on that note, but do remember that it made mention, as the main clue, of the number 13. We searched as hard as we could. Of course, the hotel had nothing "13" due to superstitions. We inspected rooms 12 and 14, knocking on walls, opening closets. We asked everyone we could find of their opinion as to where we would find the next note, or hopefully even something better. We had a pretty good idea that it was just some game that their grandmother had set up to give us something to do. We appreciated that she would go to such an effort; even the notes looked old and were not in her handwriting. We finally gave up our search after a few days at a dead end. I still think about that day, even now, fairly often. I haven't spoken to those girls since we moved the summer after 3rd grade. We wrote a few letters, but lost touch eventually all together. I try so hard to remember the exact wording of the note. I go over in my head where it was trying to lead us. I also wonder why their grandmother let us search so long and hard without giving at least a little hint. I let it cross my mind rarely that maybe it was put there by someone else, by quickly put that out of my mind because, really how likely is that to happen.
OK, so I decided I would share this experience, or what I remembered of it, with you and, as always, went in search of a picture to go with the story. I toyed with idea of doing image searches for "scavenger hunt", "clues", and "Sherlock Holmes" even. I then decided that the best image would be of the hotel itself. I figured I should be at least able to find one picture of it since I was pretty sure it was old enough to be a historic landmark for the small Texas town. I was very shocked to see the search results. Apparently, the Von Minden Hotel is haunted. So far, I have found accounts of ghosts of a railroad worker, a WWII vet and his lover, and Mrs. X. One site stated that this hotel has become so popular in the paranormal community, that paranormal have been held there.
I am now going to finish my post, then return to Google so that I can read up more on this hotel that I spent hours of my childhood playing and searching for some "hidden treasure" of sorts within it's walls. I had never heard any stories of hauntings in the hotel that I can remember. I am sure that if I had, I would not have been so eager to wander the empty hotel with just my friends. Who knows? Maybe we were right, and it was all a game set up by her grandparents. Maybe they didn't want to give away that they were behind the planting of the notes, so just left us to tire of searching. Then again, you know I am superstitious, maybe we were on the path of one of the hotels eternal guests. Maybe one day I will go back, ask around to try to find Tiffany, Brittany, or their grandmother and see if they remember our little hunt. I know curiosity killed the cat, but upon finding this information, I think I will reflect even more often on this search I was involved in over 20 years ago.

Secrets

2009-03-09T12:04:00.001-05:00

A couple weeks ago I posted about writing to PostSecret. I got to thinking about the secret I would send, and realized I have a lot more secrets than I realized. At first, I knew it was simple, just was undecided on how the postcard should look. I was going to send the only secret that is completely unknown by any of my friends. Somewhere in the planning stages of postcard design, I started a brainstorm, and came up with at least 5 secrets that no one else knows. So, I've decided to one by one mail off at least 10 postcards to PostSecret. I will be using all of my super unknown secrets, and a few that are very scarcely known, as well as 2 that are much better known that I would like. No, I am not going to share them with you, and would never admit they were mine if you did happen upon a postcard of mine. What I will do, to feed your curiosity, is divulge some of my less threatening secrets to you. As with the others, some of these are known by absolutely no one until today! Forgive me for the extreme randomness!
Enjoy:
I love reading the "missed connections" section on Craigslist, and though I would never respond, sometimes wish my description would be posted there.
I wish I knew how to be a "girly" girl sometimes.
I almost started a new life- had my stuff packed, enough cash to get me started, and was walking out the door to leave the state with no notice to anyone, but only stayed because my sister called as I was about to walk out the door needing my help.
I enjoy watching cartoons more than my daughter does.
I sometimes dream that my dad faked his own death and arrives at my door one day to apologize.
When I am alone at night, I jump to get onto my bed just in case something is underneath it.
I love B-rated movies.
I always thought of myself as open minded, and never as racist, until my sister told me she was dating a black man.
I am scared to question authority.
I have broken my own heart in attempts to spite my mother on several occasions.
I wish I still had pen pals.
I forgive people too easily.
I have made most of my major decisions of my adult life based on the wants and needs of others, instead of myself.
It scares me that I don't think I love my mother anymore.
Ok, enough for now. Feel free to comment on these or even leave me a secret of your own. Have a good day!

Home Is Where Your Heart Is

2009-03-06T09:11:00.002-06:00

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and he asked me where my favorite place in the world is. I spit it out immediately. Half Moon Reef. I had never really thought about it much before. For a bit it surprised me. I like the Half Moon Reef lighthouse, but never before thought of it as my absolute favorite place. Then I figured out that it is just home. Half Moon Reef is located in Port Lavaca, Texas. I have never lived in Port Lavaca for any period of time, but my grandparents have lived there in the same house since my mother was still in her single-digit ages. I, on the other hand, have never stayed in one house for more than 2 years. My mom constantly moved either to other houses or other towns. After high school, I moved out and kept up that same tradition on my own. No matter what I did like about where I was living, I always found a reason to move. So, Port Lavaca has pretty much been the constant location in my life. It is a small town, but not one with that "Mayberry" type of feel. There's ample crime for the area, but safe enough to an extent. The recreational activities available: fishing, Walmart, movie theatre (one screen only), or go out of town. Every time I visit, I always have to stop at the lighthouse for at least 30 minutes to sit and watch the waves. No, this town is not beautiful. The Port Lavaca Bay is brownish color and the most beachy thing you can see is a few sad palm trees. The picture I am sharing with you is one of the prettiest I have seen of the lighthouse. Now, that doesn't include the holiday season, when it is decorated simply in plain white lights and wreaths- not breathtaking, but beautiful to me. Just writing this, I feel more and more of a yearning to go for a visit just to go sit at Half Moon Reef. When I go, I prefer to be alone, but I don't use that time to do any heavy thinking or meditation. I usually just sit, smell the salty air, listen to the gentle "whoosh" of the tide, and watch the gulls gliding around. Now that I think about it, I do wonder why I never decided to live there in my adult life, but I am glad I haven't because I would probably never visit the lighthouse and I am pretty sure the magic would slowly dissipate. Where is your favorite place in the world?

On a side note, I have removed the link to Black Sheep Betty, since she has moved on to bigger and better things, but I did add a new blog that has caught my interest. Ccheck out Bedroom Blog. It has a "Sex and The City" combined with Noisiest Passenger vibe.

RAOK, Post Secret, Copycat

2009-02-19T10:42:00.003-06:00

I was thinking about how I have changed over the years, and one of the things I have done quite a bit less of lately is my my random acts of kindness. I was looking on the Found Magazine site yesterday and saw a post that reminded me of this fact. The post was from someone who found a note on their windshield about having a nice day. It was completely random and the poster said that it did have an effect on him/her. I used to do things like that. I never really did much for complete strangers, but I used to, at least once a week, leave a note for a friend or buy a gift for no reason. I never really thought about it, either. I just did it. I would be out shopping and see something that would remind me of someone I knew and bought it for them. I would then either give it to them directly, drop it off somewhere for them to find with a note, or a lot of times, I'd stick it in their mailbox/car/etc. with no credit taken for myself. I didn't really think about the effects of it when I got it, just knew they needed it. I haven't done that in a really long time. Maybe it is lack of spare funds....but a reandom letter in the mail or something little doesn't cost much. Maybe it is lack of time I spend on doing what I want to do instead of doing what needs to be done. So, now, I am going to attempt at making a conscious effort to preform random acts of kindness at least once a week. It did make me feel good to know that my friends were getting an occaisional extra smile because of my actions.
Also, I have become increasingly interested in Post Secret lately. I actually do have a couple deep dark secrets that I can promise will never be mentioned on this blog for the simple fact that, even though I completely trust any of my readers who actually know my true identity, I can't even share those secrets with you. If you combined everything that all of my closest, most trusted friends knew about me, you wouldn't know these secrets. I have been thinking seriously about sending them to Post Secret just because it would feel so good to get them off my chest.
Lastly, I caught a bit of the Jimmy Kimmel talk show a couple nights ago. The part I watched had Anne Hathaway as a guest. One of the things they discussed was her 2009 New Year's Resolution. I absolutely loved it, and though I believe that my own resolution was completely appropriate for me, I have decided to adopt her idea. Her resolution is to try something new every day. Whether it is something big or tiny, I believe that if I incorporate this into my life, it will help me to get back on the road to becoming myself again. I used to have such a passion for trying new things, and lately it seems that my life is just one week set on repeat with an occasional temporary change now and again. It's like renting 10 movies with all the same cast members, same plot, same result, and only slight editing changes. I gotta at least have sequels.
So, there's my thoughts and plans for the near future. I will also try to keep you updated on progress, but by now you should know that this blog can be kind of random. Wish me luck!

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-13T11:20:00.002-06:00

Ok, so I'm a day early. I never post on the weekends, and don't want to post late. Also, I need to think about something other than the impending doom of today's bad mojo. I hope all of you have a great Valentine's Day. As for me, miss hopeless romantic, I have an incredibly unromantic sweetie. Don't get me wrong, he does extrememly romantic gestures, but not the "hearts and flowers" kind. For example, on my birthday the first year we were together, he bought me a locket with a four leaf clover on it (not a picture of one- it's under a small piece of glass on the front). The gift itself was so awesome (hello, very superstitious gal here and he's not superstitious at all). The romantic part was that it was broken and repaired several times until it finally was beyond repair, so he got me a new on this Christmas! His romance is the little things that mean a lot and show a lot of effort on his part to make me happy. I do have to admit, though, that I would be so excited if he decided to acknowledge Valentine's Day even by just telling me to have a happy one. My Bond girl got flowers sent to her work today, and I was a little jealous. Oh well, I will probably mope for a couple hours tomorrow, then get over it.I am lucky to have what I do, and at least he's not one of those guys that is "hearts and flowers" romantic occaisionally while being completely selfish the rest of the time (had those before too). Love is better than romance, even though it'd be nice to have both once in a while. Hope your Valentine's Day is spent with someone you love. Mine will be, even if we are just working on his truck!!!
XOXO

FRIDAY the 13th

2009-02-13T11:09:00.002-06:00

Well, it's here! It's Friday the 13th. As all of you know I am Miss Superstitious and the Queen of Bad Luck, so I am just sitting here wondering what is in store for me. As if the doom of today isn't enough, this year holds a double whammy not spread so far apart. Next month, we get another one. Usually the Fri. 13 are spaced by at least 6 months, but not this year. We get 2 months in a row!!!! Can you feel the mojo? So far, I have stayed out of harm's way (knock on wood), but then again it is only 11AM. So, I am sending good luck vibes your way in hopes that the day runs smoothly for you. Please return the favor! Got my 4 leaf clover on! Got my hematite in my pocket! Don't forget your horseshoe, rabbit's foot,or lucky penny today! GOOD LUCK!

Blah

2009-02-12T09:43:00.003-06:00

A week ago, yesterday, I took my daughter to the doctor about a fever and bad cough. As it turned out, she had ear infection in BOTH ears and bronchitis. She just started getting better Monday night. Tuesday, at 3 AM, my sweetie woke me up asking for help- his ear was in a lot of pain. He'd had sniffles for a couple days, but no fever. He went to the doc on Tuesday to find that he, too, had infection in Both ears and bronchitis. This morning, after lovingly caring for my sick babies, I woke up feeling like total crap. What a price for being a great bedside nurse!!!

MySpace

2009-02-04T12:37:00.002-06:00

The IT gurus at my employer's corporate location have, I suppose, finally deemed that MySpace is no longer evil. Not sure if it was a fluke, or what, but for the past 3 weeks, I have been allowed access to MySpace on my network. I love MySpace, and you are going to probably judge me for the reason. It is a way to connect with long lost friends, as well as current ones, yes....but it is also a way to occaisionally catch up with some ghosts from the past that you don't care to re-incorporate into your life. I have found people that I do want to hang out with again, people who have moved far away and I finally can talk to them without spending a fortune, and a few people that I am curious about their lives, but have absolutely no desire to have any contact with other than MySpace. Is that mean?

Best Friend

2009-02-02T10:42:00.002-06:00

Good Morning! I am feeling better today. No, there haven't been any revisions to the conversation I previously referred to on my last post, but the reality shock isn't hitting quite as hard anymore. My girls helped me out a lot.

I have 2 friends in my life that know all of my deepest, darkest secrets. They were the only people who were there for me the day the rest of the world walked out on me (not referring to last week). These 2 are my greatest gifts. I have got some dirt on them, as well, but no matter what, we understand each other so much that the biggest argument couldn't drag the secrets from us. I know that from experience. One of those friends I just rekindled my friendship with about a year ago after 6 years of not speaking. We instantly fell back into old routine. Things are different now, but no matter what, we will drop almost anything for each other. She is my logic, my rock, my sanity. The other is my soul mate. She has been a friend for over 17 years. She is my oldest friend, by far, and my dearest. Ironically, we only talk once every 6 months most of the time. She lives only a couple hours away, but we both have our lives that keep us busy. We never did do much small talk. If one of us needs the other, we just know. Every time I call her or vice versa it is at a time when the call-ee(?) truly needs the caller (good or bad). People don't understand our friendship. We have nothing in common and don't agree with half of each other's choices, but there's just something that binds us. I am telling you this because (well, it's my blog and I can write whatever I want to) I just want to recognize how privileged I am to have these 2 women in my life. I love them and even if they were completely wrong with all their theories this past weekend over my most recent dilemma, at least they helped ( or maybe it was the margaritas).

My heart's not broken, just chipped

2009-01-30T09:49:00.004-06:00

You know those days when you just want to throw yourself off a bridge? No, I am not suicidal, just feel like crawling up under a rock. I just had a moment of complete stupidity. Deep down, I knew what I was going to hear in response. I reasoned with myself that I needed to know the answer, that it was for the best that I know, and that either way I would be nothing more than educated on the subject.

No, I won't tell you what I am talking about. This is the consequences of reading some one's thoughts; you don't always get complete explanations.

Anyway, I don't even know why the question popped into my head, but it just suddenly appeared, and would not leave. I pondered asking for 20 minutes, rationalizing that I really did need to know and that I could deal with the answer. I even think I already knew the answer, which is why it popped up in the first place. What do you do when your life is suddenly altered dramatically without changing anything? Yes, I meant to day it that way. Nothing has changed. Nothing will change. I know now what I did not know, but did suspect. It is absolutely amazing to me that something can be so.....oh forget it! I can't do this vague stuff, so you people who can say something...DON'T!!!!!
I asked him last night if he ever wanted to get married. He has always said that we will in 15 years. I thought it might be a joke, but also thought that I can wait if need be. I just wanted clarification that the day would come someday. NO. It has nothing to do with me or our relationship, but he has no desire to marry. In fact, he doesn't want to. He loves me and wants to be with me forever, but no "I DO." I didn't ask why. I wanted to say so much, but instead pretended to be OK. I was scared of the conversation causing fight or ultimatum. I do not want to be one of those women to threaten to leave if it's not going anywhere. I mean, really, where does it go after marriage? I know that maybe someday he will change his mind and maybe not. Maybe that is why he talks about 15 years. I am truly happy with him. I am very much in love, and I am not willing to let myself throw that away for some words, rings, and paper. Yes, I know it's more than that, but I feel like I can't let go of us for it. We are more than that. So, what's the problem? I am still crushed by it. I can't just continue to walk around feeling like this, and don't know what to do to change it. I didn't even realize that it was such a big deal. I knew it was something I wanted, and something I've been thinking about more lately, but this is killing me. I truly would rather still be in the dark. I will be OK, I'm pretty sure of it. We have a date tomorrow night, so I think I'm gonna get the girls together tonight. We can rationalize for a few minutes, then they can help me forget about it- well maybe with a little push from a couple margaritas and 80s music as well!

Just to say

2009-01-29T16:19:00.003-06:00

Following format stolen from new fave blogger- Noisiest Passenger.
*******************************************************************

You:
There is a difference between being ditzy/irresponsible/busy and just not caring enough to bother. I will always be there for you, but please don't ask me to stick my neck out like that again for you.

You:
That was sooooo much fun!

Oh, yea...YOU:
Do not walk in here 5 minutes before my lunch break yelling profanity into your cell phone, dressed to go out clubbing, take 20 min to put your name and phone number on an application, and get an attitude with me when I don't offer you a $20/hr job on the spot! I act/dress the same for every interview I go to and every application I fill out, whether it is for an office position or to flip greasy burgers, so it wouldn't hurt you to show a tad bit of professionalism.

You:
Be careful! Take care of yourself! I'm just gonna go ahead and say it now in case you drop off the earth again before leaving. Saranghabnida!

You:
I wish you would listen. You are attractive, smart, funny, and a great catch! Stop belittling yourself by always accepting the first thing to fall in your lap. Live for you right now. I am not your mother, but when I say "NO!!!" about a guy, please listen. If you don't want my advice, don't ask for it. If you ask for it, but choose not to use it, don't tell me you will. These are your decisions, just don't lie to me about them.

and, You:
See immediatly above, except I'm done. You are a lost cause, and I'm sorry to say that, but apparently when I said you reminded me so much of a certain old friend/roommate of mine, I had no idea just how much you reminded me of her. There is a reason she is out of my life: although she was fun and is a good person deep down, my life is so much better without her soap opera cluttering it up.

and lastly, You:
I am so glad to have you back in my life. The peace of having a truly non-judging friend back it a breath of fresh air. I am sorry that I had my doubts, and hope you know that I was just being protective of you due to past. It's nice to know that even after 7 years of no communication, we can fall so easily back into the type of friends that would do ANYTHING for each other. You have proven yourself over and over, and I love you for that! Remember: Friends are God's way of apologizing for our family!!!(Cheesy, I know!)

Ego Boost!

2009-01-29T15:20:00.002-06:00

I was asked out on a date today. One of my former employees has called me a few times within the past week about his W-2, and called again today. I was on my lunch break, and usually don't answer the phone then except for my sweetie or the daycare, but I noticed the caller id and just had to tease him that his name was comically misspelled. This guy worked for me for quite a while and I have gotten to know him a bit over time enough to feel comfortable joking with him. He actually seems like a pretty cool guy and have thought that he might be fun for a new friend for me and my sweetie. Yes, I am a good girl, and no, I wasn't thinking of any other type of relationship. Anyway, after I teased him about the Caller ID faux pas, we samll-talked for a couple minutes about work and such. Just when I was wondering why the conversation was continuing past 3 minutes with nothing related to work (I did welcome the conversation cause it drew me out of complete boredom), he asked what time I get off of work. Cue light bulb over head! I told him that I get off at 5 and then off to pick up the kiddo. I didn't want to shoot him down before he said more, just incase I was wrong. Then came, "Do you have any plans this weekend?" I told him I have a date with my husband. POW POW POW! At first, he asked me what he did wrong or what he needed improvements on, then apologized. I told him I honestly was with someone, but (to soothe his ego) I'd have gone out with him 5 years ago. He was polite and respectful, telling me that he didn't know and that I was always so nice, so he just took it wrong, and that he was not a homewrecker so he would leave me alone. He also said somewhere in ther that I am very HOT!!! Oh yea, I still got it! I told him that he seems like a cool guy, and that if he would like to be strictly platonic friends then I would like that. Of course I mentioned that friendship with me means friendship with my man as well, and he said he'd like that. We talked a few more minutes and said goodbye. It feels good once in a while to have someone new tell you they are interested. No, not going anywhere. Yes, still in love. Yes, gonna tell him about this conversation tonight. But, no matter how much you like the place you are in, it's always an ego boost to find out that if you weren't there, there'd still be options.

Side note: After agreement to be platonic friends, conversation turned toward the word "platonic." My complimenter asked me if I knew the origins of it, and when I said "no," he told me that it was from Plato. Ok, makes sense, but sounds like something easily pulled out of your back orfice by looking at the word. I Googled it! Yes, it came from Plato, as he said, but it also means something way off from what everyone uses the word for. Normal use being friends with no romantic ties, right? Well, it seems I need to redefine some of my platonic friendships as the above definition so as not to be confused with it's origin.

"Platonic love (Latin: Amor Platonicus), is a deep and spiritual connection between two individuals, within such relation does not exist any form of sexual connection or element.

At the same time, this interpretation is a misunderstanding of the nature of the Platonic ideal of love which, from its origin, was that of a chaste but deep love transcending mortal life.[1] In its original Platonic form, this love was meant to bring the two people closer to wisdom and the Platonic Form of Beauty. It is described in depth in Plato's Phaedrus and Symposium. In the Phaedrus, it is said to be a form of divine madness that is a gift from the gods, and that its proper expression is rewarded by the gods in the afterlife;[1] in the Symposium, the method by which love takes one to the form of beauty and wisdom is detailed."-Courtesy Wikipedia

See, learn something new every day! That's all for now, hope you have a good day, you sexy beast!!!Our gains for today: knowledge and ego boost!

Will you marry me?

2009-01-28T16:34:00.002-06:00

I was doing some basic boredom websurfing earlier, and came accross some post that kind of bothered me in a couple different ways. There were several posts from different women who were asking, "How do I get my man to propose?" So, the problem is that about 98% of these posts stated the women were in relationships that were between 3 months to 18 months old. Seriously, if that's all they had to wait, then what is the problem. Honestly, at 3 months, unless it was an instant love, that isn't a mature consideration in most cases. None of the women claimed to be pregnant and wanting to marry because of that. Sure, I have thought about the idea within those time frames of a relationship, and maybe even mentioned it, but never started researching how to push the subject. I actually wanted to marry my sweetie in less than a month, but then let the newness wear off and at 2 years started actually knowing that I will be spending the rest of my life with this man regardless of when we finally say "I do." I think the idea of marriage pops into someone's head when they realize they love their partner. The thing is though, for a marriage to work, sometimes love isn't enough. I used to imagine myself having a beautiful wedding with a wildly romatic groom. Now, I can't tell you how romantic "Let's run to the courthouse" sounds. As much as that may sound like I am settling to make it easier on him, I'm not. I don't want big anymore. I would rather spend that money on something for us to enjoy like a trip or a big family purchase than a dress I will wear only once and food to feed 300 people we hardly know. Also, I know he would feel uncomfortable, and honestly I think I would, too. Yes, I am kind of getting a bit antsy today, but not sure how it popped into my mind. I have figured that out, too. If it stays on my mind for a while and starts bugging me, then instead of searching for answers from other online users, I will just have to be the proposer. I think that is much more loving and romantic than trying to puch and trick into proposing, don't you think? As for you girls that are pulling your hair out cause he won't propose after a few months of dating....I am on year 5...had a neighbor propose finally to his now wife after 12 years. I don't think you are gonna shrink into spinsterdom just yet! I will leave with one suggestion that I have to tell myself occaisionally when I get in wedding fever mindset: Don't concentrate on what you want so much that you neglect/forget what you have. It is just a piece of paper, ring, and words in the long run. Everything else involved in a marriage should already be right in front of your face!!!

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired." - Mother Teresa

HELLOOOOOOOO!!

2009-01-28T10:43:00.002-06:00

Does anyone actually read my random thoughts and rambles? Just wondering if I am all alone here, basically telling myself what's in my head? If you read, please leave a comment- could be anonymous, even to just say "Hi" or "You suck!" Thanks. If you have a blog, leave the address, and I will check it out- maybe even mention it to a few people! I am all alone here, oh well, just curious really!

Me- A to Z

2009-01-27T14:44:00.004-06:00

A - Available
NOPE

B - Best Friend
MANDI

C - Crush
MY SWEETIE

D - Dad's Name
MIGHT GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH 007 INFO

E - Easiest Person To Talk To
ACHBAH

F - Favorite Band
DEPENDS ON MY MOOD

G - Gummy Bears Or Worms
WORMS

H - Hometown
AUSTIN, TEXAS!!

I - Instrument
DOES IT COUNT IF THE CAT MAKES NOISE WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY KICK HER OFF THE BED?

J - Job
HUMAN RESOURCES- I PUT SUBSTANDARD EMPLOYEES IN POORLY PAYING JOBS

K - Kids
YUP, BUT YOU KNEW THAT

L - Longest Car Ride
WHEN I SPENT SUMMERS AS A KID TRAVELING WITH MY GRANDPARENTS AND THEIR CAMPER AROUND THE COUNTRY

M - Milk Flavor
CHOCOLATE

N - Number Of Siblings
1 SISTER, 2 STEP BROS

O - One Wish
WORLD PEACE! WHAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, KEEP LAUGHING OR I'LL BEAT YOU UP! NO, I REALLY WANT A COOL MAJIC WAND LIKE ALL THE DISNEY GODMOTHERS!

P - Phobias
HEIGHTS, FINANCIAL, AND BECOMING A SPINSTER

Q - Favorite Quote
"ONE FORGIVES TO THE DEGREE THAT ONE LOVES." -FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD

R - Reason To Smile
SIMPLE PLEASURES

S - Song You Last Heard
"WITCHCRAFT"- FRANK SINATRA

T - Time You Woke Up
6:20 AM

U - Unknown Fact About Me
I GREW UP SURROUNDED BY FART JOKES AND FAST FOOD.

V - Vegetable
ASPARAGUS

W - Worst Habits
SMOKING, AWAITING THE DAY THE DISHES WASH THEMSELVES

X - X-Rays You've Had
I SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE SPROUTED A TAIL BY NOW

Y - Your Favorite Food
MY GRANDMOTHER'S FRIED SHRIMP

Z - Zodiac Sign
SAG

Plug New Fave Blog

2009-01-27T14:22:00.005-06:00

HI! I am still here. I recently discovered a blog that is over 3 years old. I love it, it's like reading a book that you can't put down. I think I will be slightly disappointed when I have made it all the way back to the first post and then have to wait every day to see if she posts, as opposed to reading for about an hour a day. Well, maybe my frustration will motivate me to be a better hostess to this blog. Reading hers has given me a few ideas to add here for you, though. It almost makes me feel a bit guilty for being lazy when I write because she uses proper paragraphs and I'm sure an English professor would be so much prouder of her writing as a whole than mine. Oh well, I love reading her stuff, and almost feel a bond with her now- you know that wierd I don't know you but know about you stalker kind of bond. I want to meet her, but that would just be wierd! I do envy some parts of her life though, and reading her blog has at least let me get a bit closer to some of the experiences that I have wanted for myself. Anyway, check her out sometime and see what you think. I hope that if she somehow finds my blog that this post won't wierd her out too much. I am not crazy, stalker, or having imaginary conversations with her, just like to read of her life! Ok, shutting up now before I continue to sound too crazy! Promise I am not. N E WAY.....
Check it out!: Noisiest Passenger

"You ain't got no enemies, do ya?"

2009-01-13T15:42:00.004-06:00

If you know exactly what the title of this post means, then please read on knowing that this was written specifically for you, but I have no other way to say it...For everyone else, sure, be nosy, but I can't ever promise an explanation of what isn't obvious here. So, here goes:

To my friend,
I know that I owe you a supreme apology! I was unintentionally a huge hypocrite. I promised you I would be there. I said I would support you, be your friend, rock, shoulder, and even kick your ass when it was necessary. I told you that when the time came for you to need a friend that I would be there until you violated our agreement. Then, outside forces stepped in, and as it turned out I was not there for even a minute to start you off with. Luckily, you were sent an angel. Honestly, I am positive that angel has done 10 times better for you than I ever could have. I want you to know that I am truly comforted that you have been blessed with her and believe that you are going to be just fine. I want you to know that the broken promise was never something I meant to do. Also, at the time the promise was made, I truly believed that nothing could stand in my way to honor it. I had conviction and determination to help you in return for your help so many times. Well, you know what change happened to me when we last spoke. Honestly, I believe that we both got our own angels and that we were forced to chose between saving someone else or saving ourselves. Does that make sense? Both of us are in such better places now than we were then. Our lives are not perfect, but a very large improvement. I was listening to the radio the other day and heard a reminder of the ghost you put me back in touch with, which got me thinking about you, and now I have been drafting this letter to you in my head for days now. There is so much I miss sharing with you. I think you were the only completely non-judgemental person in my life. I realized that you knew so much more about me than anyone, although you still didn't hear everything! I was never ashamed to tell you, and I never hesitated to ask your true opinion. No, you weren't perfect, but you held a part of my sanity. I hope you see this. I hope you understand that not everyone is forgiving and open-minded and that at first I followed like a sheep, but now realize that if I hadn't, neither of us would be where we are today. You know that as well as I do I am sure. I am pretty sure something was building that needed to be knocked back to it's proper place. If our paths are ever crossed, I hope that the circumstances will allow us to catch up and talk, but if all that comes of it is a smile and wave, please don't think badly of me. You have to admit, the seed and bloom of our friendship doesn't sound like most people's stories. I want you to know that I wish the best for you always, and that (trying not to codescend) I am so proud of you. You will remain always in heart, even when not in my life.

New Year, New Attitude

2009-01-05T11:13:00.003-06:00

HAPPY New Year, readers! Ok, so I am a few days late, but I didn't make my resolution to be more punctual or to procrastinate less! I made one resollution this year, which is going to be hard- that's why I did it, because something like this should be easy! No I'm not giving up my horrible bad habits like junk food or smoking. I'm not gonna vow to lose 10 pounds, though it would be nice, I will have a HAPPY New Year! Well, technically, my resolution is to smile at least once every day- a real smile, with extra points for genuine laughing! I am happy with a lot of things in my life regardless of how bad my luck looks and what is going wrong in my life. My problem is that I stress out so much about the bad stuff that I overlook the good stuff. I was thinking on New Year's Eve about what my resolution would be, and I knew I wanted something big, but something reasonable and unselfish. I realized that I couldn't remember the last time I came home smiling. I always have something to groan about, ALWAYS! I got to thinking about how easy it could be to spend the ride home from work jamming out to my favorite cheesy songs, and walk in the door to give hugs and kisses to my family and tell them I love them witha smile on my face before I utter a single other word. I won't talk about anything unpleasant that happened at work or anywhere else if it doesn't affect the person I am telling about it. I am tired of being in a bad mood all the time and it will stop. I bet anything my family is tired of it too. My sweetie told me a few months ago that he's noticed that I am not the same person I used to be, and my friends have agreed with that....no unhappy relationships, just very noticiable personality changes in me, well, I think this will help in changing that. Well, I am not sure yet how this change will affect my readers. I am going to try to just let everything slide off my back, but I apologize in advance if I start blogging about the lady at the store or how I waited in a drive thru for 20 minutes for cold food, or whatever. I will try not to make you suffer for how I am trying to better myself, but if that is my only outlet for getting it off my chest, it may happen from time to time.What are your resolutions? Leave a comment. In the meantime, have a good day!HAPPY 2009.

Re-evaluating a friend and my life

2008-12-22T11:49:00.003-06:00

I realized 2 things yesterday. 1- someone that I've always thought of as selfish and shallow is far from that, and 2- I don't hide as much as I think I do. My sweetie has a friend that he has knonw for a very long time. They used to be pretty close, but over the passt few years, they just don't hang out as much. They seem to have less and less in common and his friend makes some life decisions that we just don't like. He's kind of annoying at times and we both always give him a hard time. I never really disliked him, but he has never been the person either of us thinks of when trying to figure out to invite over on a Friday night. I always did think of him as selfish and about as deep as a puddle because of past oobservations. Yesterday, he called. He wanted to talk to us about something he had in the works. He told us that he hoped he wasn't overstepping his boundaries, but he'd asked his pastor if anyone in the church wanted to help a family for Christmas, he had one. He told a brief overview of our current situation and the pastor immediately said he knew exactly who to call. The day before an elderly couple came to him to ask if he knew of any families who needed help for Christmas because they didn't just want to donate to cahrity- they wanted a more personal way to help. We talked about it, feeling horrible. For one thing, we had no idea that his friend thought we were that bad off, and felt that there has got to be someone who needed it more. Then the more we thought about it, the more we realized that it would be such a blessing on our family. So, I guess the last thing I realized was that even though we aren't as bad off as plenty others, we are a little worse than I realized. I am so grateful to those who are helping us out: for this couple, for my boss who struggles to keep me working full time, for the dollhouse, and for having a second family that loves and supports us completely. I never knew faimly was like this 5 years ago. I thought they were just blood and almost obligated to love you. Having a family that completely by choice shows you not only love, but unconditional love- that's the best gift of all. My gratitude and prayers go out to those who are there for us and to those who are worse off than us or even the same- I pray they find help as well.

My charities

2008-12-15T13:54:00.004-06:00

I wrote this last week and apparently never posted it."If you can't feed one hundred people, just feed one."- Mother Teresa
“Do not stand on a high pedestal and take 5 cents in your hand and say, "here, my poor man", but be grateful that the poor man is there, so by making a gift to him you are able to help yourself.It is not the reciever that is blessed, but it is the giver.Be thankful that you are allowed to exercise your power of benevolence and mercy in the world, and thus become pure and perfect.” - Swami Vivekananda

I don't know about the becoming "pure and perfect," but I do know it feels amazing! It is nice to be on the giving end for a change. The past few years we have been sitting on the side of needs and wants instead of extra to give. In acutality, I'm sure that we might have been able to find something to give. Now, even with Christmas looming overhead, and knowing we will have to cut many corners and not be able to buy exactly what we would like to give to the kids, we still found the time to do just a little. We weeded out the toys and clothes that the kids have outgrown and are still in good shape and posted an ad to give them away. Within 15 minutes, I had 34 responses. I didn't even have enough gathered to just give each person 1 thing. But I did have enough to divide it amongst 4 families and give them a few things each. It was so hard! I have never made a decision like that! Especially with wondering if I might be the only thing standing between a child and a gift under their tree this year. So, I read each response several times and thought very hard. I guess I can only hope that I chose the ones with the most need. I am pretty sure the last one was a great choice. She cried, then I cried. We talked a long time. She offered to make me dinner or trade me for something she might have. She was so incredibly grateful. It was an overwhelming feeling of acomplishment, and it's kind of ironic to feel so great about getting rid of things we no longer need or use. It is amazing, readers! Even if you think you have nothing, find something- even if it is only time and help someone who needs it more than you. Just one little act is like a high. I may not have much, but if it feels like this, you can bet I am gonna find more- kinda funny that I am lmost sounding selfish because I want to help more because of the way it feels to me. Either way, it's helping. Merry Christmas!

Cause and Effect

2008-12-12T10:00:00.004-06:00

I have been thinking about how we view events in our lives. As you know, I am the self dubbed "Queen of Bad Luck," but what if that's not exactly the case. What if those things I see as bad luck are happening to cause a good reaction in someone elses life who needs more help than me? Of course, this theory still needs several evaluations before I stand by it and shuck off the idea of this imaginary black cat always running in circles in my path. Here's the deal, in the past when I had bad luck, I wasn't looking for how it might positively affect others, so can't say whether or not this is an accurate viewpoint, but will try to remember to look closser in the future because of the current situation. Ok, as you know, my darling was laid off from work a few days ago. Seems like not such great luck, huh? Well the following day, his brother's car broke down- since he'd been laid off, he had the time to fix the car for him before he had to be at work. Then we found out my sister was losing her house and had to be out by this weekend. Being off work made him available to help her get almost all of her stuff out and moved to storage oor our house in less than a day! If he was still working, his brother's car would only be half fixed, and none of my sister's stuff would have been moved. How did I come up with all of this? I don't know, maybe it's just Christmas spirit in the air that is making me a bit less selfish and seeing how life goes on even when it sucks. I don't know if I will continue to see things this way, even if I try to, but for now it's nice to have a positive view on our bad luck. In the meantime, cross your fingers, hold your 4 leaf clover, kiss the blarney stone, and pray for us that he gets a new job soon and everything works out for us and my sister.

Don't care what you say....it's Something!

2008-12-09T11:46:00.003-06:00

I will admit that I am not the most devout Christian. I might make it to church on holidays. I do pray with my daughter every night before bed, and occaisionally make mental notes that I should be taking her to Sunday School and Church. Well, I have spent the past few months wondering if we would be financially stable enough to buy Christmas gifts for our daughter and the other kids in the family. Finally, I was relieved of my holiday stress. Just in time everything seemed to be fitting into place. Then, just about 2 hours ago, my sweetie called to tell me he had been laid off because of lack of work. They complimented his work ethic and productivity, and said they'd love to have him back when it starts picking up again. That's always nice to hear, but doesn't put presents under our tree or any extra to try to help out others who need more than ourselves (yes, still trying to think in those lines as well). So, I started scanning all the classifieds and job sites, coming up with very little to work with. I then decided to check my email since I'd never gotten around to it this morning. As usual, there was junk mail and a bunch of forwards from a couple friends. I also recieve individual emails from a few different groups like Freecycle and such. So, I am reading through my emails and come up on 3 in particular. The first: Tells the story of a woman who helps a couple homeless men out. At the end of that letter is one of those saying that if you forward it on your wish would come true. About that time, I hit delete as I was talking to myself about if that was true I would wish for him another job. The next one: Tells story of 3rd grade boy who wets his pants in class, and prays for help. Just before his accident is revealed, a girl "spills" a fishbowl of water on his lap. Of course she gets teased for being a klutz, and after school the boy thanks her for doing it on purpose to save him. A quote from this email, "Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith." Ready for this, the last one: an email from a freecycle-type group that states a small company has a job opening (job postings never posted on this group). The email was posted this morning, and I know they have no other postings on major sites or classifieds. It is a delivery driver position (which my darling has plenty of experience in), and pays fairly well. I think he needs to apply for this! I think it was sent to us specifically! I am never one for signs and miracles, but I figure if I can be a superstitious about bad luck as I am then why shouldn't I believe something that looks like a gift from God when it is right in my face. Then again, I might be wrong, but it's worth a shot!

Christmas Infects the Heart and Soul!

2008-12-05T10:46:00.004-06:00

Well, I have been decorating my office this morning and, considering my limited supplies, I think it's pretty good! Yup, pretty sure at least one elf threw up in here! Anyway, I had a conversation last night that really made me very grateful for what I do have and made me want to help someone who doesn't. I am usually that person anyway, always helping others in some way, but I never really make time for the ones you aren't faced with daily. I know, every year around the holidays is when everyone decides to get off their ass and help with some charity, while the other 3 seasons, the idea of those who are worse off than ourselves has a tendency to wander toward the back of our minds while dealing with our daily lives. So, criticize me if you feel the need, but let me finish. A couple weeks ago, I was seriously wondering if my kids were going to have anything at all under the tree from us this year because we were lucky to be getting the rent, bills, and food paid for. Of course, I'm sure I figured out a plan, and started selling my personal things that I enjoy owning but are not a necessity so that I could have that little extra to be able to give them something. Well, our finances have gotten a bit better, and am pretty sure that if kept small, our kids and the nieces/nephews will be covered. Anyway, I was talking to someone who is very dear to my heart yesterday, and a reality light clicked on that you never know just how close you are to someone who actually did go without presents at all on Christmas, on a few different times. I didn't grow up rich, or even upper-middle class. We were always middle to lower-middle, but growing up I would have never imagined getting nothing for Christmas, no Christmas dinner, least of all no electricity or gas to heat. The big hit: I actually know someone well, who remembers spending at least 3 Christmases with no electricity, only candles for light, sharing 1 bed with whole family for warmth, eating (but far from turkey and dressing), and not even a Christmas card. Wow! Lightning bolt! So, I thought, we may not have much, but I want to help someone who has less. Promlem: there are 5 million posts online of people who have their stories, kids ages, and asking for help, but who do you believe? It's just like the homeless guy you see on your way home, if you buy him a burger is he gonna eat and be grateful or will he throw it out and curse you? Honestly, camparison of 2 posts asking for help I saw just today- 1. gently used toys, gently used clothes, small donation of food 2. games for Nintendo DS, 4 wheeler, and a mastiff puppy! So is #1 for real, or a great con artist thinking that asking for meager help and used things will get a better result, or is #2 for real, yea expensive requests, but maybe the Nintendo had been already given from someone previously, don't think about cost of dog food, and intends on trading work or something for a broken down 4 wheeler. Who knows. These could both be legitimate of frauds. Maybe they don't want to spend their money. Maybe they feel they can't afford it because it doesn't fit into their budget which could be cut somehow, or maybe they really just want something for their kids because they don't know how to even get the rent paid currently. You could rationalize that if they have internet access, they can afford computer and access, so they aren't that bad off- wrong, library, workplace, friend's. Anyway, I have chosen 2 kids that I have no obligations to that I will make sure they have a good Christmas because they deserve it, and am inviting a few friends who have no family over for a big Christmas dinner with my family so that they can have something. My true friends deserve at least that after everything they have done for me. Ok, need more hot chocolate, write more later! In the meantime, sacrifice just a tiny bit more to do something personally to help someone whose Christmas will suck worse than yours without it. Thanks!

Single

2008-11-24T13:05:00.002-06:00

I have a couple of friends who are still single/single again, and honestly I don't see how they do it without going absolutely crazy. I will admit that I have had thoughts of what I would do differently if I ever was single again, but honestly I just don't want it. I guess after a while you get into a comfort zone where you forget having that life. I actually have one friend that has never wanted a relationship. She likes dating, and will not let it go into "serious territory". It's not a commitment fear either, she just knows that there is no one for her and is perfectly comfortable with that. She wants a family, thus is now a single mom. I am proud of her for never falling into something that she doesn't want no less than100%. She wants everything her way, but anyone who will accomodate that is too weak for her! Ha ha! Anyway, I'm not preaching the "I am so in love and couldn't live without him" card, or the "I don't want to be lonely" card, I just couldn't imagine doing it again. I think if it ever came down to that, I would probably live my same homebody life for at least a couple of years until I could slowly acclimate myself back into it. Hopefully that won't ever happen anyway. It seems like my friends are always dating to the extreme....is that really how single life is now, or maybe it's just their taste (womanizer, abusive, political, love-sick, super romantic, mega-young, and the "swear he's not gay"). Maybe there's no normal single guys out there anymore....oh well, hopefully I won't have a need to find out anyway but first-date stories!!!

Yay Me!!!!

2008-11-24T11:08:00.002-06:00

Well, I made my truffles this weekend, and although,they don't need their photo in a cookbook, they are awesome! That is not just my opinion, either! I am so proud to get em on the first try. The best part- the pecan pie truffles- the ones I had no recipe for and pretty much came up with on my own- are the favorite for everyone so far!Anyway, that's it for now, just wanted to brag for a sec!

Dream Job

2008-11-21T12:17:00.002-06:00

Ok, so it's not full time, just one day, but still awesome! Wish me luck! P.S. I edited out the contact info cause I'm not advertising for competition, I want this!

Need Models for Military Pin Up Photo Shoot - Dec 14
Dallas, TX
"Need Models for Military Pin Up Photo Shoot - Dec 14 - Dallas" "We make it easy, Come Shoot with us EDIT... We are currently looking for.............. Models MUA ...................... for our Photography Workshop Photo Shoot in Dallas. PLEASE FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS TO BE ADDED TO PHOTO SHOOT: Only apply if you are available; Email to EDIT Model Name: Portfolio Link: Email contact: Phone for Text messages: Age: Workshop Interested in: MPU (MPU) Military Pin Up Photo Shoot - Dec 14 We are looking for curvy models that can pull off a Clean Military Pin up with some vintage Airplanes inside a Airport Hanger. We will be providing MUA for the Models and looking into the wardrobe as well. We only need a few for this Photography workshop Photo Shoot...

Bond

2008-11-21T10:52:00.003-06:00

I guess I can't continue to make references to "Bond" without explaining a bit of background. Hopefully you figured out that it derived from James Bond, secret agent 007. If not, you seriously need to do some research! Anyway, have you ever had a time when two people very near to you came to a time when they pretty much became enemies? Most times, if they are immature, they each push you to choose their side. Well, the first part happened publicly, and I believe that one of the parties involved (even though nothing has been said) would believe that is exactly what I was doing by choosing to associate at all with the other person. That is not the case. The way I see it, their dispute has nothing to do with me, so I can have both in my life, but I don't want the drama! So we devised a plan to be Bond Girls! We are gettting pretty good at this secret agent stuff, too! We talk daily, hang out at least twice a week, and the other person has no clue. Of course, sometimes I have to include my sweetie in on it. He knows we have our secret friendship, but doesn't care as long as no one else finds out. He knows that she has become very important to me and doesn't see any harm as long as friction doesn't arise. It really is kind of fun, and I think the best part is that we have gotten even closer since our 007 arrangement because we are now completely open about even those little things you are so scared will get out. We could each make the other's life extremely difficult. But, you know what, everyone needs at least one friend like that somewhere. You just gotta take a chance and trust someone that much. Of course there's a combo of trust and blackmail info for added security!!! Really though, she is one of 3 friends in my life who has made it to "Sister" status, and even though I know I could talk to any of them about any/everything, she is usually the one who gets the most because she is closest to current daily situations. Anyway, now you know my Bond secret.

I'm flattered, but no thanks

2008-11-21T10:14:00.002-06:00

Ok, gotta tell someone, and since I have remained anonymous, you are my new 007 Bond friends. I can speak freely without it affecting my life. I found a poem laying in the seat of my car this morning. It was typed with my name on the top. I have questioned the only suspect, and believe they truly know nothing about it. I know my sweetie very well- definitely not from him. I am truly flattered to recieve this, but am very much in love and happy with my man. He may not be romantic in the "hearts and flowers" type of way, but he knows how to prove his love. Being a hopeless romantic myself, sometimes I forget that. I do wish I could find out who gave this to me, so I could thank them for reminding me to see that (though I doubt that was the intention). I never get flowers or any other "textbook" romantic gestures, but I can't count the times he gave up his desires so that I could have mine or any or the countless tiny gestures that meant the world to me even though no one else understood what the big deal was. That is the type of romance that matters most anyway. Anyone can buy flowers, but it takes a real man to give away his soul. So, I guess somewhere out there I have a secret admirer. Just hope it's not my stalker that I thought I finally scared away 2 months ago. Anyway, I might as well share my poem with you:

Touched by all that love is
I draw closer toward you
Saddened by all that love is
I run from you

Surprised by all that love is
I remain alert in stillness
Hurt by all that love is
I yearn for tenderness

Defeated by all that love is
at the truthful mouth of the night
Forsaken by all that love is
I will grow toward you.

Let me end this post with a great quote:
"It's not who you are to the world, it's who you are to me. It's not how many times I say I love you... it's how much I really do. " - author unknown

THANKSgiving

2008-11-20T12:27:00.002-06:00

I got an email from a friend a few minutes ago that I would like to share with you. It was short and simple, but gave me inspiration:

HAPPY TURKEY DAY
Why not start your day that day by counting all the things you truly have to be Thankful for. You might be surprised how long a list you can actually come up with.
Start with all your friends... and family who are ALSO your friends -
Have a Great Day

I am sure that I am not the only person in the world that occaisionally forgets how much I have to truly be thankful for. I wake up on Thanksgiving Day, rush to get myself and my family ready to get to the family dinner on time. We eat, visit, and go home. I spend so much of the day consumed with all the commotion around me, that the actual meaning just kind of slips by. We should stop for a minute everyday and cherish all that we have in our lives, but on that day, we should think about the things that we have gotten to accostomed to to notice. On the days (or weeks,months,years) that are just full of bad, bad, worse, we shouldn't let it get the best of us. I know I am the world's worst (self-dubbed Queen of Bad Luck), so I am speaking to myself as well. When it seems horrible, stop and think for a minute and I'm sure you will find at least 5 things to be thankful for. So, this year, I plan on making sure that I do take that bit of extra time to remember that I am very lucky (yes, I called myself lucky!) to have all that I am blessed with. If I started on the list, I'm sure I could continue on for hours. My point is, make sure you do cherish what you have, because you never know how long you will have it, and once it's gone- well it's too late to appreciate it.

Pretty Toes = Pretty Smile!

2008-11-20T08:35:00.006-06:00

Years ago, before my days of chasing my "thinks she's 13" toddler around, I always made sure to keep my toenails painted. Unpainted toes just make feet look ugly to me. Too plain. Anyway, over time, I slowly started slipping away from my habit, and until yesterday, didn't even think about the fact that I haven't had a drop of color on my feet since my munchkin thought she'd decorate them with Crayola markers while I was napping, and before that- at least 2 years. So, last night, she and I sat down together, turned up to stereo to my favorite jamming music (80s pop), and painted our toenails. It was so fun! Not only that, but just looking at my pretty toes this morning made me smile and set by beginning mood of the day. I haven't started a day smiling (a weekday anyway) in months! If I had thought that something that simple could do it, I would have restarted my old habit months ago. As for my little princess's feet- had two reasons for it:1-for the fun and bonding, and 2- now that she has experienced pretty feet, she will bug me to repeat over and over, which will remind me to keep in the habit as well! She may be tough and the ONLY girl in a huge family so she can hold her own and can be a bit of a tomboy, but show her "pretty" and she is all about it! She will "beat you up" anyday while wearing perfume, barretts, jewelry, and a princess dress with matching tiara! Anyway, so I gotta say thanks to one of the 8 (yup 8!) ghosts from my past that I somehow happened upson yesterday for reminding me of one of my favorite simple pleasures. In fact, I think fishing old simple pleasures out of my memory will be my self-given assignment for the next week. Maybe I will pick up my girlfriends and go on a roadtrip to nowhere or wake up early on Saturday to watch cartoons while eating cereal in my pjs.If anyone has any other ideas on their simple pleasures they would like to share, please do.Until, next time- don't forget to find something to smile about!

Beware of Ninjas

2008-11-19T16:18:00.002-06:00

I am so nostalgic today! I talked to an old friend from my barhopping days. She was initially introduced to me by my Mom in hopes of her being a "good influence" on me. She was quite the opposite. I swear I doubled my drinking and clubbing when I was around her. We got to reminiscing about when we hung out as well as talking about how our lives are going now. One night, at the bar, we met a couple of guys from Fort Hood. I can't remember anything about them (and neither can she), besides the that they told us they were Ninjas. I don't know why it was so hilarious, but it was. Everytime we ran into these guys afterwards (never more than once a night for no more than 5 minutes), they would tell us some Ninja story, then disappear. Guess you had to be there....Ok, so I write about pointless dumb stories, but you're the one who sits and reads them, so don't criticize too much! Be nice and one day I will tell you about my life as a secret agent!!!

Awaiting Anxiously

2008-11-17T13:52:00.006-06:00

I am normally one of those people who waits until just after Thanksgiving to start decorating for Christmas, until I noted that the author of my favorite blog,Black Sheep Betty, has already began her Christmas decorating. Now, even though our finances are forcasting a very inexpensive holiday, I am more psyched about Christmas than I can remember being in a long time. It's not the presents- heck, my birthday is only 2 weeks away. Maybe it is the fact that my daughter is finally old enough to appreciate all the great things, other than gifts, that Christmas brings. I can't wait to bake cookies, listen to Christmas music, watch the best classic movies, and drive around looking at all the lit up houses. I do wish I could find a way to travel to the coast with her though, because my favorite lights of all are when the lighthouse in my Grandparents' town is decorated with simple white lights. Don't get me wrong, I love the displays of multi-colored lights, animation, and music, but that lighthouse decorated just says, "Home" to me. I am so anxious to start putting up my tree and seeing, hearing, smelling the Christmas spirit all over!

Wish me luck!

2008-11-17T12:19:00.004-06:00

Well, no input yet on what to make for Thanksgiving. That means either I have no readers, or none with great ideas to share. That's ok. I have figured it out. I love truffles! The family loves truffles. Every year someone ends up bringing some amazing new truffles they have bought to share with everyone. Well, I figure it is my turn, and searched online for truffle recipes that have a Thanksgiving air. I found two that I am going to take a shot at: Pumpkin and Chocolate Cranberry!After finding these, I came up with idea of how good Pecan Pie truffles would be, so I searched high and low. The result: no recipes, but Godiva is selling Pecan Pie truffles. If they can do it, then it is possible. I am just going to wing it. I'm going to make a crustless pecan pie, chill it, and attempt to ball it up and coover in chocolate. Hopefully it won't be a complete disaster! I am pretty anxious to try it out. Heck, if they turn out well and are the hit I'm hoping they will be, I've already found recipes for eggnog, peppermint, and gingerbread truffles for Christmas!

Thanksgiving Confessions

2008-11-14T16:00:00.002-06:00

Ok, I know this is not what you would expect from someone who idolizes the typical 50s housewives, but my level of cooking expertise is not quite up to par with that. In fact, it is pretty crummy in my own opinion. I know what you're thinking, "There she goes, being negative about everything again." Well, not entirely. I can cook and bake. It always turns out good, at times even great. I just don't have a large range. I have made the same things for years, with the occaisional extra here and there. I have no problem opening up a cookbook and following it (well not to the "T"-gotta add my own) even if I have never even heard of the dish before. My problem is that I can't be inventive in the kitchen on my own. Every year at Thanksgiving, I end up making some great dessert (oh my goodness, stop the presses, I am being positive, even slightly boasting) , but so does half the family. I always get good reviews, but have to take quite a bit home (as do everyone else who brings desserts). I want to make a side dish this year. Main dishes are taken of course, appetizers get grazed on for 2 minutes, and I already mentioned the fate of desserts. My problem is that my downfall when making my family dinner nightly, the most side dish effort they get is mashed potatoes (BTW, am not ashamed to say I make instant mashed potatoes- used to hate even idea of instant until I started playing with them and can make them taste just as good in half the time). Anyway, this Donna Reed wannabe needs help in the kitchen. If anyone actually reads this and has any great side dish recipes, please pass them along!Just not the typical side dishes-pretty sure those are covered already. Thank you!!! Till next time, ~insert your mother's favorite advice here~

Bad Luck Fairy Strikes Again!

2008-11-13T16:33:00.002-06:00

My paycheck was mailed out Friday morning from a town only 30 miles away. On Monday, still did not come in the mail, but my sweetie got a call to come in for job interview on Tuesday afternoon. Of course no mail on Tuesday cause of Vet's Day, so had to borrow gas money for him to get there. Tuesday morning, my car's oil light came on and stayed on whole way to work-if it is a little low it just flashes once or twice! It was just about empty! Managed to find enough change around the office to get a couple cheap quarts, but not my car is running like total *@#*! And the temperature gauge no longer works at all. Yesterday, sweetie was asked to return for 2nd interview , my check finally came, and when he ran to the store a few minutes beforehand, the steering cloumn broke in his truck, so he had to ride the bike (motorcycle- it was cold) and get to interview already in a bad mood. He thought it went pretty good and the guy said to expect a call in a couple of days. Last night we got to deal with the idiots working at Autozone trying to borrow a steering wheel puller and fighting with that for hours just to find that we were at a dead end and have no idea how to fix his truck! Oh, and today he got the call that he didn't get that job, but a few minutes later was offered position elsewhere starting immediately pending drug screen. Of course 5 minutes later (just as he was leaving to take drug screen) they called back with "Nevermind, I'm sorry, I wasn't told the position had already been filled!" YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!

Housewives and Pinups

2008-10-10T13:44:00.002-05:00

Have you ever noticed the similarity between typical housewife pictures and pinup girls. The only difference is the clothing. The are both beautiful, shapely, proportionate, and exhibit an air of friendliness and even purity. Yet, the housewife is pretty much the jack of all trades woman whose work never ends. She cooks, cleans, runs errands, and anything else to take care of her family (and looks pristine doing it). She is looked at as mother, wife, friend, PTA supporter (all while wearing heels, mind you)- but how often do you hear how sexy or beautiful she is? But, if you take Donna Reed out of her apron and stick her in a bikini, she'd fit in perfectly with every other pinup making men drool all over suburbia! So guess what, housewives are even more AMAZING! Heck, I am envious just cause I can't spend 5 minutes washing dishes without needing to change clothes! Ha ha! Anyway, next time you are bummed cause it's cleaning day, go ahead and throw on a nice dress, pretty apron, fix your hair and makeup, and make it a game- so how good of a Donna Reed or June Cleaver you would have been!

Spring Cleaning - little late

2008-10-10T09:57:00.002-05:00

I am exhausted today! I got home last night, played with my daughter for a little while, then it happened.....My darling sweet man asked me if I knew where his helmet was. I knew, I went straight for it. It was in the linen closet- under 6 months worth of random stuff with no set home. Of course, on a Thursday night (when I have to work the next day) at 11 pm, I have to get the bright idea that I can't just throw everything back into the closet and deal with it later.....Nope, gotta organize the closet, then the spare room, bedroom, bathroom, living room, and kitchen. We are talking deep cleaning here. In fact, now spare room is full of stuff just about ready for garage sale! so, I guess that is the next big project.

OVEN!!!

2008-10-07T09:59:00.001-05:00

No, I'm not going to talk about sticking my head in one. I am celebrating today! It is a small triumph, but you wouldn't believe how awesome it could be. About 3 months before we moved to our current house, we got a new elevtric stove/oven. Well, there were a whole 2 things (at the time) about our current house that I did not like at all before we decided to move in. 1- W/D hookups are outside in the detached garage (really bites when raining or cold), and 2- NO 220 plug in kitchen (only had hookups for gas oven/stove). So, for the past 8 months, I have been using a toaster over, electric griddle, microwave, and hot plate to cook all of our meals. When we moved in, my sweetie promised to run the electrical wire soon so that we could have a 220 in the kitchen. Well, it finally happened last night. Did I cook some big elaborate meal? Nope, it was the best frozen pizza I have had in at least 8 months (oh wait, only one in 8 months-can't fit those in a toaster oven). Funny thing, oven is fixed just in time for baking birthday cakes-namely my sweetie's (today)! Anyway, I never knew I could get so much pleasure over having an oven! So cherish your appliances people!!!

Haappy Monday All!

2008-10-06T16:26:00.001-05:00

Hope everyone had a good weekend! Mine, was fairly uneventful, which was wonderful to me because it meant a lack of bad luck. However, this morning, I was late for work and my check engine light came on in my car (sure sign of bad to come). You know, I just don't get how so many people have gotten to be so inconsiderate in this town. I sat at home all night Friday night so that I wouldn't miss a couple phone calls I desperately waited on (no caller id, not cordless phone, no answering machine or voicemail-I know, stoneage cheap). Two different people said they would call sometime Friday after 6pm to arrange pickup on 2 items I was selling on Craigslist to make some extra money to help out with groceries until payday. Not only did neither one call to arrange pick up, but niether one called to even give me courtesy of saying the wouldn't be showing up. I was irritated enough that I thought I could rely on that bit of extra cash, but even worse that I couldn't even hang at the neighbor's house because I had to wait for a phone call. Ok, so that did happen, but seriously, other than that, uneventful weekend. It is kind of cool that I figured out how to spend only $50 all weekend for 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches, and 3 dinners per person for 2 adults and 2 kids this weekend. That's talent you wouldn't learn in finishing school!

Introduction and latest news

2008-10-03T13:59:00.001-05:00

I grew up fairly middle class. I got moved around the state lots. I lost my father at a very early age, leaving me to be raised but a woman whom I loved, but could never decide whteher she was Mom or my friend. I was giving dating advice at age 8. Anyway, she was constantly telling me how wrong it is to judge a person by race, financial status, or personal preferences. She always said to judge by personality. Makes sense, right? Well, that is how I live my life. I never judge on rumors, past, money, or childhood. I believe that everyone has made mistakes in the past (of course I wouldn't be alone with a murderer immediately either) and deserves to be the person the are now. I don't really want to be who I am now though. About 6 years ago, I met the man I am still with now. I love him very much, and his family as well. He had a hard life growing up, and I can only imagine what that must have been like. My childhood was far from perfect, but we never did without essentials. I am ok with not having a lot of money, but I am very not ok with my child having to grow up hearing me tell her that she can't have a special snack once in a while because bills are more important. I mean really, who lives teetering like this and doesn't lose their mind. My bills are paid, I have a running vehicle to drive to my full time job(office manager), but 2 days after I cash my paycheck, I am trying to find a way to make more money because it all went to bills. I try to help everyone I know in anyway possible. I even help the boss I hate keep his job for fear of losing mine. I do 3 times the work another employee in my exact position in another town does with less pay! (hired at same time and I have gotten 1 raise already). My "friends" walk all over me after they get what they need, my family only speaks to me at holidays and when they need something, I lend an ear when people need to talk with no reciprocal offer, and I am BROKE! I truly believe I am in a severe depression, but can't afford to even go to family practice to get antidepressants prescribed. My temper, which used to be almost nonexistant, is too easy to provoke. I yell at cars, I call everything "stupid", and I can barely talk to my employees for more than 10 minutes without feeling irritated. I want to be the old easygoing, fun, understanding person I was 6 years ago. I never want to do anything besides watch TV, have to force myself to clean house or even bathe daily, wear clothes oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans(except at work), and cry or yell for no reason. I feel insane. I want to make myself better, but honestly, how? I tried to look better to start(that always helps), but I can't afford a haircut (in 3yrs) and have horrible split ends, am out of almost all of my makeup, and can't afford new clothes (or even "new to me" from Goodwill) that fit right. I have no one to talk to about any of this. I have no way to vent. I can't talk to my man because he's going through most of the same things and is stressed enough without my stress being added. My 2 only true proven friends in the world are going through so much right now that I just listen to them and think how glad I am to not be dealing with that probelm.My only solution is to blog. I guess it is the best solution because honestly what are the chances that someone I know will find this randomly, read it, and figure out it is me? Pretty slim, so I can be completely honest and talk about almost anything without fear of repercussions. Yes, I realize this is my first blog, and I am ranting and feeling sorry for myself. You are probably thinking that I just had one bad day and you will never hear from me again. Well, truth is I don't know for sure that I will ever write on here again, but honestly, today has been an ok day. Believe me, I am one of those people who would have no luck if it weren't for bad luck. And I recently figured out that it is every year from around August to mid December that I can't win on anything! Then my luck doesn't change to good, it just evens out to normal levels. And if you think I am whining, you are RIGHT, but joke is on you because obviously you don't have anything better to do with your time than to read my whining, so if you don't want to hear about it, stop reading! Maybe you are here because it makes you feel better about your life? If that's the case, keep looking out for me in case I do continue to blog, and maybe I can make you feel like a lottery winner one day! You want my list from just September? Ok: brakes replaced (completely stopped working)(caliper,rotor,lug studs, and pads), radiator sprung leak and overheated car, battery died and got too low to charge (replaced), found out wasn't getting 90 day raise(not because of poor preformance, but because I am lucky to have job at all because:), owner of my office is anticipating to close down completely mid December(yup right b4 Xmas), dealt with sexual harrassment from an employee, had $400 stolen from my purse at my house, have been told by 23 different employers that am overqualified to hire for part time second job, got a letter that my child's medicaid has been suspended and they told me she no longer qualifies due to her age (she is 3 and has anaphylaxis), missed 3 days work for a pulled muscle from moving furniture for a friend who ended up telling me that because I don't want her abusive boyfriend in my home that I am no longer welcome around her, was given a hot check for an old cell phone I was selling for extra gas money (gotta love my trusting nature), grandparents home damaged by IKE, and to top it all off my childhood "lovie" teddy bear was chewed up by aquaintances "well behaved" dog that I kept for a week while he was out of town. Would continue with August mishaps and past 2 days as well, but honestly I am getting tired of typing. HELP!